So there you are...four great college football coaches. Penn State's Paterno, legendary Knute Rockne of Notre Dame, Paul W. Bryant of Alabama, and the University of Georgia's Vince Dooley. Between them they had/have 1003 victories (put that in perspective—play a 13 game schedule and, given their combined win total, a team would have to play until the year 2085—77 years—until it lost another game).

Anyhow...this is a piece regarding something that is missing on the college football sidelines. No, it's not a bunch of platitudinous blather about "honor" and "integrity" and "giving 110%." If that was what was necessary to win, we'd all be screwed as a nation. It's about neckties. Yeah, that's right. Neckties.

What happened to neckties and jackets among college coaches? I'll tell you what happened: the swoosh and its cousins.

God bless Nike and Adidas and Under Armour. They provide a valuable service to collegiate athletic programs vis-a-vis top-rate equipment and apparel in exchange for  whoring the players and coaches out as breathing billboards. Even that isn't my gripe. It is the year 2008 and marketing and advertising is what it is. I have no real beef with Madison Avenue.

But would it kill Nick Saban or Pete Carroll or Charlie Weiss to throw on a tie? (OK, Weiss would have a hard time buttoning the top collar—but work with me here.)

That's all. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Roll Tide! I'm off to Joseph A. Bank.